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I know some articles have pinpointed various types of status updates. Here are three of my personal pet peeves, all of which I freely admit to having committed at some time in the past. I hope I’m not repeating any from other lists here.

1. Announce something—anything, from “Pancakes are good” to “(Male Celebrity Name) can have my baby anytime”—and follow it with the sentence, “That is all.” Of course it is all: we can tell because you stopped typing.

2. Reposting anything. Seriously, just anything. Your status update is supposed to be just that: what you are thinking or doing at a given moment. It is not supposed to be some other person’s random thoughts on life, cancer, or how under-appreciated nurses are (though they certainly are).

3. Guiltbooking: Sharing any meme or status update that tries to guilt you into clicking like or sharing. No, if I don’t like or share, it does not mean I don’t love Jesus, or that I’m not your real friend, or that I support animal torture. It just doesn’t.

What do you wish people would stop posting in their status updates?